I hate your face
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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