My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
