I wannas sexs uuuuu
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
