Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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