I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
