Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
