last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
