when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
