Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize