i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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