is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
