ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
