is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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