I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
