she looked like the bat from fern gully.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize