Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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