this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
