I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
