WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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