I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
