im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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