What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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