So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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