Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
