im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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