I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
