I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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