You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
