Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
