just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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