Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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