I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Sorry about my life...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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