If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
