I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize