The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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