My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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