Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
