Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
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