he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
