that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just blew my weed a kiss
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
