Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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