i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Can you bring me the toilet please
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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