I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
someone owes me an orgasm
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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