i jhust puked up my retainher.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
