So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
