Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
