We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
