I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
