I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
