why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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