She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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