I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Randomize
