yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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