Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
