I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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