I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
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