Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Life is so much better after having sex.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
