Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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