Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
